Picture taken just shy of 31 weeks.
Along with that has come a bit of nesting, lots of pain, exhaustion, and heightened emotions. I seem to feel pessimistic, irritable, and overwhelmed more often than I'd like to think I normally am. The latter comes when I start thinking about having Baby Ridge. What will the hospital be like? What will we do with Jade while he is being born? Will I be able to take care of him, myself, the rest of the family, meals, and the apartment? I feel like we will be so alone without family nearby to help out. The one thing that gave me comfort and confidence is knowing what an amazing husband I have and that he will step in whenever needed. I knew we would be okay.
Then about three weeks ago, Cody received a new calling. He has been serving as Gospel Doctrine Teacher, but apparently things were going a bit too smooth for the Rowland family. A counselor in the District Presidency (similar to a Stake Presidency) called us in and asked if Cody would serve as Early Morning Seminary Teacher (yes, again! I guess I get a second chance to have a positive attitude). Afterward, one of the first comments Cody made was, "You can run, but you can't hide." This was actually about a day after we were back in HK from our vacation in Utah. Cody likes to joke that I was still in a jet lag induced coma and that is why I agreed to support him in the new calling.
Truth be told I actually felt really good about it that day. We were assured that Cody was meant to be the one teaching these kids; in fact the counselor didn't even know Cody had taught seminary before. He also told us it was going to be challenging (as we well know), but promised blessings would come. When I got home, I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my husband.
Hong Kong Park Conservatory.
I am so thankful he is a righteous priesthood holder and is willing to serve the Lord. I love that Cody is diligent in all things religious and spiritual: from prayer to scripture study to callings to fasting, etc. etc. It means so much to me that truly living the gospel is important to him. I can already feel a greater love and spirit in our home.
That said, my feelings about the new calling have admittedly not all been positive. Like I mentioned before, I have been extremely emotional. There was about a week where I felt so glum about the whole thing. I was really enjoying having my husband around. I kinda like him. Then I started feeling like I will be even more alone when the baby comes. I don't know what to expect at this point. But I'm pretty sure it is going to be hard (there's that pessimism again). One good thing is my mom has her ticket to fly out a few weeks after my due date! I guess if we can just make it to that point we'll be great! But even more I need to have faith that this is a calling from the Lord and He will take care of us. I know He will; I just have a hard time not forgetting sometimes.
5 comments:
oh man. Seminary teacher, huh? I know Cody will be great again and you will receive blessings.
By the way, you are such a super cute prego lady! let's skype sometime soon.
I had VERY similar feelings before Elina was born. My main concern was that I wasn't going to be able to lift the boys after my c-section. I knew I was going to need a LOT of help and no one was stepping up to offer (yep, you'd think my in-laws would offer since we lived under the same roof, but yet they didn't!) Even when I would ask, I could never get a clear answer that I could count on them to help me. Ugh...I'm still upset about it! Regardless, everything was fine with me and it will be fine with you! Just remember to leave your worries with the Lord and trust in His plan (easier said than done :) ).
Btw, I LOVE his name!!!! Good thing I'm not pregnant or I'd steal it from you :). Seriously, a GREAT name!
You'll make it Nicole. It's so scary when you're wondering what to expect and it's one of those situations that you can't plan out every detail. Just know that you guys are doing the right thing and you'll be blessed for Cody's work in his new calling. Pray hard and trust the Lord. Everything will work out. I have to admit that I had similar feelings because I didn't have things planned out when Abby was born and I felt like I was going to be left on my own with a new baby and two kids. My mom worked and I didn't think she could help out very much and Dave didn't have a lot of time with his new job. I prayed hard and it all worked out. I know your situation is different in a million ways, but hang in there. It will work out. Cody will make sure of it. And congrats to Cody on his new calling. Dave will be jealous. :)
Have I told you yet I love the name Ridge? It's adorable in the manliest kind of way :)
I still can't believe Cody got that calling again...except that I can.I just feel bad cuz I know the burden it was for the whole fam last time. Let's go round two!!!
I will fly over in a heart beat to help out. Seriously, I could watch Jade while you guys are at the hospital or any number of things. Say the word and I'm there. xoxo
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