The Dynamics of Three

So what’s the verdict?!  Is having three kids harder than two?

I think for me, adjusting to two was actually more difficult.  Don’t get me wrong. Three is still hard and overwhelming at times.  Having any number of children probably is. 

 

My opinion may simply have more to do with the atmosphere than the quantity of children. Life is easier in America.  I have appliances that cut my time doing housework in half.  I have a car to strap my children into and carry them where we need to go.  The conveniences of America relieve a lot of stress and anxiety. 

Not to say that having three children is not busy, because it definitely is. Some days it seems like all I do is jump from one kid’s needs to the next. 

 

Other days there is at least one child screaming at me at all times.  Or at least that’s the way it feels!

 

I’ve just realized I have to let go of a lot of things I would want to be doing and simply focus on the kids and the house.  And Cody too, when he’s home! 

 

Tanner is two months old now, and I’m just barely starting to feel like I can slowly add extra things back in. 

 

There have been times when I’m nursing Tanner and Ridge is across the room literally pulling out Jade’s hair and they are both screaming.  So then I start screaming.  Because what else can I do when I’m stuck in a chair?

 

Then there are times when Ridge wants to stay in the bath and play as I go help Tanner with something else.  Don’t worry, Ridge simply figured out how to get himself out of the bath when he’s ready. 

Another favorite is when I’m cooking in the kitchen with Tanner in the swing.  And then Ridge comes along and decides his brother would like to swing a whole lot higher.  I don’t think those seatbelts are to keep little babies from rolling out so much as they are from protecting them from older brothers flipping them out. 

 

I think all moms can agree the most stressful time of day are the hours between 4 and 6 p.m. when kids are tired and dinner needs to be made.  It really doesn’t matter how well the children are playing together; as soon as I start preparing dinner, I inevitably hear screams coming from the basement. 

 

Although the care of the baby requires a lot of time away from the other children, this time around has seemed easier because the older two have each other.  They are capable of playing well together (though sometimes they have me questioning), and Jade can help Ridge if he needs something. 

 

Jade has taken well to Tanner.  She loves to hold and cuddle him.  She’s also a very good helper when I need something.  She’s even learned to help at dinnertime by setting the table. 

  

One evening, I set Tanner on Jade’s bed to hang out while I went to help Ridge with something.  I heard Jade singing to Tanner.  After awhile, Jade came running to me and exclaimed excitedly, “I sung Tanner to sleep!”  Sure enough, without holding him or even using a pacifier, Jade sang him right to sleep.  Tanner adores Jade.  He smiles when he sees her and lights up as she sits with him to tell him stories.  Jade also appreciates his cuteness.  When Tanner does something adorable (that pretty much only his mother would truly appreciate), I call Jade over to come see and she gives me a very enthusiastic and satisfying reaction, showing me she thinks whatever he did is as cute as I think it is!  This gives me great delight! 

  

Ridge has done well with Tanner too.  He can be a little rough at times, but never in an intentionally mean way—more so in a playful or curious way.

  

At first Ridge didn’t pay much attention to Tanner; he was too busy doing his own thing, plus I think he probably forgot Tanner was even there. 

Ridge seems to pay more attention to Tanner as time goes on.  If he notices Tanner is in the room, he’ll want to give him hugs and kisses.

At night Ridge wants to kiss him goodnight and asks for Tanner to sleep in his room with him.  Tanner does sleep in there, but usually goes to bed a little later than Ridge. 

 

Lucky for me Ridge likes an audience, so the attention he craves doesn’t have to come from physical closeness and one-on-one time.  I’ve been very careful to make sure I’m playfully watching and interacting with Ridge even when I’m stuck in the chair nursing Tanner (Ridge has even picked up on a new life skill). 

 

I’ve also tried to include Tanner in Ridge’s play as much as possible.  Trying to show Ridge that Tanner isn’t an intrusion or replacement—but an added fun element—has seemed to work so far. 

   

There has only been once that Ridge was upset and tried to stop me from picking Tanner up.  That was after Ridge had just woke up from a nap and was unusually emotional and needy.  Mostly I think he just wants Tanner to be able to play with him.  That will come soon enough, Bud! 

  

Even though each day has highs and lows, and each child brings different challenges, I love having three kids.  Not because it’s easy, but because they are MY three kids and I sure love them!